A Story of Fiction: Sentiments of a 13-year Old

I was walking along that dim, strange sidewalk, when a flock of hungry bats obstructed my way. With no hesitation, I tried to capture one but never made it. With that striking hunger vicious in their eyes, it flew over me, and flogged me, bit me one by one, until the pain covered my capacity for reckless feedback. It stole my strength, blaming on me my weakness.

I had been hardly breathing. I had laid there for a few minutes dead meat, for scavenging cats and roaming rascals to have a party tonight, when I woke up.

From then on, that indescribable pain never lasted. It reached into my memory, digging in the lasts of what was reality to me. That once in a creepy dream, I had been left spared in the dark, is the present which continuously leaves a mark on me being human. For I lamented the grievances of someone seeking for affection. When all I really wanted was to feel the brilliance of life.

I begged that I may feel NOW as my past, wherein I could jive with them, click some shots, sit stuck amidst the traffic, crack those jokes, play with the music in marsh blending, watch the movies flicker, drop the compunctions, evade the snubs, derive an imbroglio, and imbue the ecstasy of life.

And now, I'm left with an inchoate character. I feel imaginary. Misplaced in yesterday's realm. Buried 5 feet and 11 inches, just an inch before extinction.

If only humans had such an ability, to hear the whispers of the longing heart, I could have stayed and escaped from abandonment.

I couldn't have been mute, in expressing my sentiments to this abject loneliness. When all this time, I needed them most, to resist the lame upshot of being left.

huttriver12's picture

You are right Ken...

write about those who are part of you, around you, and who affect you. Keep on trucking youngster!

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Elly's picture

Wise words, Mr K,

I agree with you, and hope Myke can learn from your wisdom.

Elly

Adventures of an Australian English Teacher
About Housesitting

So you're 13?

Or did you write this when you were 13?

Whatever the case, based on what I've read of you're posts, I'm convinced you're a talented writer.

However, there's more to writing than talent.

Keep writing what you want to write -- but if you would take a suggestion, and perhaps think of this as an exercise to expand your mind:

Write about something that is not inside you, but outside you. Write about someone else. Look at another person's life or situation, and write something about that. Or write about something "out there" ...

There a difference between "writing what you know" -- and being self absorbed.

I'm not necessarily saying that you are self absorbed, but all of your posts to date seem very oriented toward "me, me, me..." and "I, I, I..."

Again, there is nothing wrong with that. I only suggest that will help improve your writing that -- at times -- you turn your attention outward to the the vast, open world -- and write about something you see -- while leaving yourself out of the story -- just do it for the heck of it.

The Fairy Redemption of Jubal Cranch, By Ken Korczak