I was discussing the "No Child Left Behind," program introduced by President Bush with a friend the other day, and we got to wondering why he hadn’t included thorough eyechecks for each child. Maybe, if he had, problems could be caught in time to prevent the obvious poor eyesight many Democrats seem to have when they grow up.
For example, one of my acquaintances, a lifelong Democrat, is always telling me that she does not trust President Bush because he has “beady eyes.” Now I have studied dozens of photos of the President, and, so far, none of them show a single beady eye. Therefore, I have concluded that my friend needs new glasses.
In our town, the only newspaper is blatantly Democratic. All the columnists give us a constant barrage of how awful President Bush is, how nothing he has done or ever will do is right, and how Republicans are nothing but a bunch of ignorant rednecks, being guided by those h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e, right wing, homophobic, fundamentalist, Christians and talk-show hosts. Well, maybe so, but if you read our local newspaper, you would see why it is such a relief to turn on Rush, or Larrs, or Sean once in a while in order to get a breath of fresh air; but I digress.
What I intended to tell you about our newspaper, concerns the Democratic artist who provides us with our daily political cartoon. The president, in these cartoons, always has little, pointy ears, and is portrayed as being a very short man. In reality, his ears look like pretty normal ears to me, and he is actually taller than most other men that appear in news pictures with him. Do you think they send out a call for a bunch of “shorties” to walk along by the President whenever he is to be photographed? I don’t think that would be practical so I can only come to one other conclusion; the democtratic cartoonist, at lease in our town, needs glasses.
Another alarming thing I have noticed in the last five years, is that the President, in political cartoons, seems to be growing shorter by the day. Is this some warped attempt by the cartoonist to make the President completely disappear by the time his term ends? No doubt, this would make his opponents happy, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.
I have considered the possibilty that this particular cartoonist not only needs to have his eyes checked, but to lay of the booze and marijuana as well.
Well, enough of that for now. In case you were planning to write and tell me that it is MY eyes that need checking, rest assured, that possibily has crossed my mind so I did rush right down to my Opthamologist to see if anything was wrong.
Result, my eyes are just fine. How about yours?
















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