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I expect the TV program, The Simpsons, will experience a gigantic increase in ratings due to its recent promotion involving all the cities named Springfield, in the United States. I just happen to live in Springfield, Oregon.

The Simpson producers are running a contest to choose which of the many Springfields will be chosen for the first showing of its new movie. Every local paper for weeks has mentioned the latest attempt by our small town to garner this honor for itself. (A rather dubious honor in my opinion.)There are national polls keeping track of which Springfield has the most votes so far and what they are doing to get those votes.

We used to have a huge white horse statue near the bridge over the river as you come into our town. No one I know has ever admitted that they like the statue, but vandals who tried to splash paint or write grafitti on it were severely punished. We, the people of Springfield, OR, like our statue just the way it is.

Lo and behold, last week's Springfield paper sported a front-page picture of our very own mayor emulating Bart Simpson and painting the statue bright yellow. Ugh! Did anyone complain? Not that I know of. I guarantee that if I had been caught doing it, I would be serving hard time right now.

Inside the city hall, there is a bench with full-size replicas of each member of the Simpson family, just sitting there. There is room at the end, next to Homer Simpson, to sit and have your picture taken if you so desire.

There is a Homer Simpson look-alike contest going on, and a video has been made of why we think that "Our" particular Springfield deserves to be the one where the movie is first shown. The only reason I can come up with to win is that it would be a little better to be known as the city that won the Simpson contest than to continue being the city known for a school shooting, leaving the shooter's parents and two of his classmates dead and 23 others injured. That took place several years ago, but it will never be forgotten.

My husband thinks I am a spoil-sport, but I just can't seem to get into the spirt of a TV family who is raising a brat like Bart. As the end of the contest draws near, the excitement is reaching the boiling point. Who knows? Before it is over, I may decide that if I can't lick them I'll join them. My mirror tells me that there is a slight resemblance between me and Homer Simpson, but I think painting the statue again in the dead of night would be more my style--as long as I don't get caught.

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